Disoriented and shocked, Michelle Agbulos in the wedding photo on Facebook.
The photo showed an extremely happy bride thankfully posing with her new husband, but the strangely familiar groom.
“It’s my own husband, Andrew O’Clee, the father of my six-month-old baby,” said Michelle, 47.
“My sister, Jasmine, had been browsing Facebook and came across a video of an ice cube challenge, where other people are filmed submerged in ice water for charity,” Michelle told The Sun.
“She identified the boy in the video, which captioned ‘Uncle Andrew’ and ‘Aunt Philippa’ and, of course, clicked on the profile page.
“The profile picture is a picture of Andrew’s wedding to this other woman.
“She was so horrified that she didn’t dare tell me and asked my most productive friend to show me instead.
“Everything I was looking for in the picture and my most productive friend said, ‘Michelle, I’m going to tell you something that’s going to replace your life. Andrew leads a double life. “
“These words haunted me for a while. “
Michelle met O’Clee in 2000, while working as a saleswoman at the British fashion store River Island. He was a product manager at the store, then he was 21 years old.
A year later, the couple got engaged and in 2008 staged a lavish $57,000 wedding in west London.
But in 2014, Michelle learned she had been cruelly cheated after her husband married Philippa, a financial executive, the year before.
He led a double life 65 kilometers away.
Michelle felt betrayed after trusting the boy for 14 years.
“I had to take a step back to figure this out, and little by little, I realized how they gave it away,” he said.
“Looking back, I knew he separated me from everyone about a year after we were married. But at the time I didn’t realize it.
“When I asked him why he hadn’t noticed his circle of relatives since we were married, he told me that he had ‘quarreled with his mom and brother. ‘
“Then I remembered how, in 2011, Andrew was assigned a new assignment as an account manager at another company, so he was never there.
“We were looking for a baby at the time, but his hours were very long and he was away.
“I was frustrated, but he told me he was doing it for any of us, so I supported him. “
That same year, former Private O’Clee told him that his company had been involved in a fraud investigation and that they would take him to a witness cover house.
Michelle says, “He asked me not to tell anyone, otherwise he would put us in danger. I feared for my life, so I kept silent.
She waited for O’Clee with her, and for over a year he saw her for sex up to 4 times a week when she left her “safe house. “
But Michelle later discovered that he was having an affair with Philippa and was buying a space with her in Surrey, in the southeast of England.
He claimed that his fictitious court case was being heard in Cuba, so he had to fly, but it is believed that he and Philippa were there on their honeymoon.
Michelle said she saw her husband for two hours a day and was accompanied by a guy she said was a plainclothes police officer.
During those two hours, they ate, talked and “made love” before he left.
She said she believed each and every word he said because she didn’t believe her husband would lie to her, and she felt like she couldn’t tell anyone about it.
After two years of searching for a baby, Michelle found out she was pregnant in June 2013, whatever she thought would be a “wonderful” addition to their lives.
But, when she told her husband on the phone, he was silent.
“During pregnancy, he was a little bit there and, when I saw him, he wasn’t very affectionate,” she said.
“Even when our daughter, Amelia, was born, Andrew was five hours late and cut the umbilical cord, before telling me I had to leave with a police escort.
“It would probably sound naïve, but I had no explanation for why not to do it. “
In September 2014, following Facebook’s revelation, Michelle went to her police station and reported her husband.
She said she was scared and felt like she didn’t know who her husband Array was anymore, but the scariest thing was that she had nowhere to go because her husband paid for everything.
“He had manipulated and psychologically abused me. I felt angry with myself, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong,” she said.
In April 2015, O’Clee was jailed for 8 months at Chichester Crown Court after admitting bigamy – marrying someone when he was already married to someone else.
Michelle says, “He had forged an absolute decree to evade detection and even convinced his mother and brother that he had divorced me. It was surreal.
“In court, I talked about how he manipulated me and made me feel like nothing.
“But Andrew even had the gall to ask for a paternity test. It’s like getting punched in the stomach.
“During the case, I learned how, while we were looking for a baby, my husband was already living his double life with a new woman.
“After Andrew was imprisoned, I tried to get on with my life, but my self-esteem was in tatters. I felt guilt and shame and didn’t know who Iray was.
“I had given everything to this guy and suddenly I was alone. It scared me. “
Three years later, in 2018, Michelle had a panic attack at work, which made her more concerned about her intellectual health.
She is a conscious coach, a form of mentor, which led her to write a self-help book, Shine Baby Shine, published in February of this year.
She says, “I was delivered to the point where I burned out, so I quit smoking and focused on living independently with my daughter.
“I sought to help other women who might also have experienced dating trauma.
“I wrote an e-book sharing my story to motivate others and show them how to create the life they deserve.
“Going out on a date with a poisonous, narcissistic user can be intimidating.
“I psychologically and emotionally abused my husband for many years and learned that it can happen to anyone.
“Now I need all the women who are suffering like me to realize that they still have a future.
“Since my donation and connection to Refuge, I am now a survivor’s voice for them. “
Shine Bathrough Shine: Regain Your Self-Esteem and Heal Codependency Through Michelle Agbulos is now available on Amazon.
This tale gave the impression in The Sun and reproduced with permission.