Best Dating Apps for Introverts Who Prefer Books to Bars

If the thought of ordering a drink at a crowded bar or chatting with strangers at a party gives you the incomprehensible urge to jump out of the nearest window, you’re an introvert, and that’s okay!We see you. We are you.

It’s no shame to be more comfortable with an e-book than in the city, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up a life of solitude, either. In fact, introverts are amazing partners, lovers, and friends, once we meet someone.

This may come as a surprise, but dating apps (and even some of the outdated dating sites that still exist) are the place to be for introverts. On those platforms, you can show who you are without feeling the pressure to be constantly “active” like you would in a classic social environment.

Yes, it’s true that dating apps still get a bad rap as the last resort for the desperate, but for introverts, those clever little outfits provide a much-needed buffer that allows us to slowly and comfortably meet potential partners. When you meet someone online, you can take the time to make the kind of deep, meaningful connections that come from success in today’s superficial, speed dating culture.

Although we are big fans of online dating, especially for our introverted readers, not all dating platforms are created equal. Tinder, for example, is the complete opposite of what introverts are. Its hookup-focused interface and swipe-left style are a recipe for crisis for shy singles who prefer to get to know their partners before jumping into bed. (If dating apps were places, Tinder would be the crowded sports bar. )

Instead, he found that dating apps like Hinge, OkCupid, and Match are much better suited for introverts. Unlike Tinder, these dating platforms inspire users to share a little more about themselves, from long profile bios to lists of interests and offer breakdowns.

So to help you find your match, the one who will understand and appreciate you for who you are, we’ve rounded up the best dating sites for introverts like you. (Also, some possible options for connecting, like everyone has needs. Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. )

If you are an introvert and you are between 20 and 30 years old and you are looking for something a little more extensive than Tinder (but not as serious as eharmony), we suggest you look for Hinge.

It is designed for even the shyest singles to express themselves comfortably and authentically. With profile messages, photos, videos, audio clips, and more, Hinge makes it simple to attach and start the conversation.

We picked Hinge as the best dating app for introverts overall, and we just improved it with a new “Hidden Words” feature that will let you remove express words and emojis from profiles and messages. This means you are more experienced in your online dating and can avoid potentially triggering or unwanted content.

Unlike Tinder and other swipe-based apps, Hinge shows you one potential candidate at a time. This way, you can focus on each user and see if you vibrate with them without feeling overwhelmed.

We also love that Hinge allows you to organize your interactions. You can like or reply to the parts of the profile that catch your eye and forget about the rest completely. Also, if you’re feeling a little embarrassed by the montage in the right to a user away, you can video chat first. It’s a wonderful way to get to know you without delay and you must give your number.

Read our full OkCupid review.

If you’re an introverted liberal and a compatible spouse who is rarely afraid to communicate vital topics, OkCupid might be the dating app you’ve been waiting for. It’s a network (we’ve discovered a lot of people between the ages of 25 and 34) where you can be honest, share your passions, and find someone who understands you, not just your photos.

OkCupid is by far one of the most popular liberal dating sites and is rarely advertised as such (other political apps like Lefty, caniDate, and Liberal Hearts are pretty far ahead in this). It stands out among dating platforms for its algorithms, formulas, and user-generated responses, making it a wonderful choice for introverts.

Unlike speed dating and swiping-focused apps (read: Tinder) that may seem exhausting to introverts, OkCupid encourages a more deliberate and considerate technique for online dating. You can take your time to explore profiles, interact in meaningful conversations, and notice common interests before deciding if you need to sleep with someone. It’s an area where you can be yourself, find your loved ones, and build important relationships.

Read our full AdultFriendFinder review.

Read our full review of the match.

Match is the dating app for introverts who need to take it easy and meet genuine adults.

Most users are between 30 and 49 years old, so you’ll most likely find other people who are well established in their careers, have a clear idea of ​​who they are, and are destined for something meaningful. Additionally, with age As a 50 and older organization is the fastest growing demographic on the app, Match offers a diverse pool of potential partners.

We chose Match as the highest-paying dating app for introverts because it understands that meaningful dating takes time. It’s the best thing about dating apps: not too casual and not too serious, but it’s the best for making genuine connections at your own pace. And with Jay Shetty, the prominent podcast host, as your new dating counselor, you can expect even more guidance in your adventure to find your best match.

But even without Shetty’s wisdom, Match is still a winner for introverts. Match’s filtering features let you hone in on other people who share your passions, whether they’re books, board games, or hard-to-understand indie bands. This means you can avoid awkward conversations. and have important conversations from the beginning.

Another easy-to-use feature of Match is the Incognito mode, which allows you to browse through profiles without knowing you’ve seen them. It’s a wonderful way to get acquainted with the network and see who piques your interest before you enter.

Read our full eharmony review

If your dating dreams involve more than just a fleeting summer romance, harmony may be the price of lasting love. This app is designed for introverts who are in a position to get serious and find someone who really understands them, someone they can build their life with (whether that means moving in together or dating). marry).

And, while eharmony has been classically a conservative dating site, the platform has been criticized for moving away from its classic line and embracing more inclusive features like same-sex dating (which is news for the LGBTQ community).

We chose eharmony as the most productive marriage dating app because it goes beyond superficial swiping and focuses on long-term compatibility. It uses a super-smart matching formula that looks at 32 other dimensions of compatibility. All you have to do is fill out their questionnaire and, boom, start getting matches based on more than just a superficial attraction.

The RelyID feature ensures that all users on the app are legitimate, so you can breathe easy knowing you’re not talking to robots or catfishers. Plus, its privacy settings keep your profile hidden from those you’re not compatible with, meaning you’re less likely to receive creepy messages from randos.

We know that starting a verbal exchange can be challenging for many introverts. That’s why we love eharmony’s well-considered communication technique. The app offers starters for verbal exchange about your personality tests, prompts, and uploaded photos, making it easy to break the ice and chat with your matches.

If you are an introvert over 50 and know that love has no expiration date, SilverSingles may be the best position to find your best match.

It is specially designed for users who enjoy life under their belt and are not interested in gaming. Whether you’re returning to the dating scene after a long hiatus or to get married, SilverSingles can help you draft the next bankruptcy declaration of your love story, proving that age is just a number when it comes to matters of the heart.

SilverSingles (a sister site to EliteSingles and Mashable’s top choice for the most productive senior dating app) is designed for people over 50 for serious and meaningful relationships. It has a strong focus on compatibility and only streams 3-5 games per week. day. This helps reduce tension and makes it less difficult to focus on matches that are maximum, it’s probably a smart match for you.

Each SilverSingles profile includes a wealth of information, such as your personality type, interests, and dating goals. This allows you to fully perceive the possible fit before starting a conversation.

Read our full Bumble review.

Bumble is designed for women and other non-binary people who need to take advantage of their dating experience. This allows them to take the first step, offering a refreshing option to classic dating apps.

With Bumble, women and other non-binary people can feel the frustration of receiving spam messages or finding inactive matches commonly found on other platforms. (And, if you’re an introverted man, it saves you the trouble of finding verbal exchange starters. )

We chose Bumble because it flips the script from the classic dating dynamic, giving women and non-binary users the strength to make the first move. This is a major advantage for introverts because it takes the strain off them when starting conversations and offers a more comfortable and controlled dating experience.

Bumble relaunched its “First Move” feature in April 2024, giving users new icebreaker tactics. Women and other non-binary people now have the opportunity to define (or create) “opening moves,” which all of their partners can respond to. This means that there will be no more annoying “hey. . . ” messages.

Bumble works with other dating apps, although with a few key differences. Matches expire after 24 hours, so you don’t have to worry about accumulating a million unread messages. This helps you get things done and avoid that overwhelming feeling of having too many. options. Plus, thanks to its new AI photo detector, you can be sure that the other people you’re chatting with will show up too.

And for those times when you’re not necessarily in favor of romance, Bumble has you covered. You can also check out Bumble BFF to locate platonic friends and Bumble Bizz for networking.

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a dating app for busy singles looking to build authentic relationships with little to no effort.   Most users are really looking for something serious, so the combination of those points means that you find a large number of young professionals in their 20s and 30s on this app.   (It’s kind of like EliteSingles for millennials. )

CMB uses a set of rules that takes into account points ranging from fundamental data (such as location and age) to more nuanced criteria (such as social network and interests) to find potential partners that fit your preferences. This considered adaptation procedure is helping introverts. eliminating the need for extensive browsing and scanning, saving time and energy.

Instead of overwhelming users with endless options, CMB selects a unique option for each user daily. This technique allows for a more targeted and planned dating experience, giving users time to complete each and every potential hookup. Additionally, CMB offers icebreaker questions to facilitate a graceful initial conversation, and the chat room expires after seven days, encouraging users to go beyond the app and meet in person.

Read our relationship between eharmony and EliteSingles.

If you are an introverted workaholic, EliteSingles is the dating app for you. The platform is especially popular among knowledgeable and relatively affluent adults between the ages of 30 and 55. With a gender breakdown of 56% female and 44% male, EliteSingles offers a varied user base of over 12 million people. In large cities such as New York, it locates up to 800,000 users, at least, according to EliteSingles itself.

If you’re too focused on your career and introverted to find a date offline, this is a smart position to start.

We chose EliteSingles as the best dating app for professionals because it caters to people who value intelligence, ambition, and finding a spouse who understands the hustle. But it’s not just for career-driven people – it’s also ideal. Selection for introverts for deeper connection.

EliteSingles prioritizes compatibility over swiping. After signing up, take a (surprisingly interesting) personality test that will allow you to compare yourself to other people who share your values, interests, and even your quirky sense of humor.

Since everyone on EliteSingles is looking for something a little more substantial, you’re less likely to encounter those dreaded one-word answers or long-winded chats. Instead, you can connect with other professionals who sense your need for quiet nights after a long week of work. Plus, with a user base full of successful people in these fields, you’re more likely to find someone who also knows the ups and downs of your career.

Boo is wonderful for introverts looking for a dating app that feels like a social networking experience. This platform understands that introverts thrive in intimate settings and value deeper connections rather than superficial small talk.

It is going the extra mile by connecting you with other compatible people based on your personality type. Through an in-depth personality test, Boo digs deeper into your personality and makes sure you connect with other people who truly understand you.

If Twitter and Mastodon had a baby (and used Snapchat as inspiration for their logo), it would be Boo. This online appointment combines the most productive elements of both worlds, providing an exclusive combination of social media and microblogging features.

Boo offers a more intimate and organized enjoyment for those who like calmer and more meaningful interactions. By joining themed communities, called “universes,” you’ll be able to immerse yourself in topics and discussions that resonate with your passions.

Whether you’re a bookworm to other literature enthusiasts, a video game enthusiast to your teammates, or an art lover eager to network with other creatives, Boo has a global matrix waiting for you.

Lex is a social media platform that welcomes anyone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ network (although the user base tends to skew toward lesbian and non-binary people). Provides a platform for queer friendship, building network and expanding your social circle.

Instead of relying on swiping or taking selfies, the app encourages users to express themselves through private “ads” and notes about their lack of ads, their interests, and the type of spouse they are for.

Lex is rarely a dating app; rather, it is an informal gathering place where other LGBTQ+ people can come together and build a community. You don’t have to worry about the best profile pictures or clever opening lines. Just be yourself and see who you vibe with.

You can post, edit, and delete private classified ads whenever you want, while sharing your thoughts, interests, and desires. And while other people were disappointed when Lex transitioned from dating to friendship and networking in early 2023, do it. Don’t worry: the founder promises that there is still plenty of room for exciting messages.

“We inspire Lex dating and hookup users to keep posting interesting messages on Lex!It’s their area to connect for love, friendship, and more,” Lex founder Kell Rakowski told TechCrunch.

The overall environment is low-key and pressure-free, which is ideal for introverts who feel defeated by the typical dating scene. Plus, it’s absolutely free, so you have nothing to lose.

If you’re a shy user who is too willing to look weird (for fear of ghost images, rejection, or complicated first dates), an AI-powered dating app like Iris is worth trying.

This AI dating app takes you through 3 stages of “testing” to see which facial features you find most attractive. Use this data to screen potential matches, expanding your chances of locating who sparks authentic charm and triggers a connection without having to sift through countless profiles. .

Unlike classic dating apps, Iris takes your personal tastes into account and learns what you like before you even start. And, in a creepy but cool way, it lets you upload photos of other people you find horny to create a more personalized matchmaking experience. (but only if necessary). And, to get to know you better, it gives you the opportunity to specify why you were successful or liked someone’s profile to further narrow down your matches.

But it’s not just about appearance. Iris also tries to satisfy your interests by filling in the fields and provides “flavors,” necessarily tags that allow your profile to speak for itself. It also features a TrustRating system, where the more complete your profile, the higher your rating. In addition, all users will need to go through a selfie check to ensure their authenticity.

We didn’t like the geolocation feature because it can show matches far beyond their distance, but for creators that distance shouldn’t be a barrier to locating genuine connections.

Happn is a dating app for desperately romantic introverts diving into the magic of missed connections. If you dream of possible encounters and possible encounters, this application can be your virtual fairy tale.

The app attracts a younger, swipe-oriented audience, similar to other popular dating apps like Tinder. With around 70 million users and constant growth per month, happn has built a significant user base that provides many opportunities to notice and engage with other people. They crossed paths in the genuine world.

It’s hard to fall in love at first sight when you’re too nervous about showing up at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you to other nearby users. This feature is especially useful for introverts who would possibly have a hard time meeting strangers in public places.

Happn acts as a virtual endpoint, alerting you to potential matches you’ve encountered in situations, such as at exercise or in a coffee shop. If you’re interested in finding love in your network (and with other people who potentially share a percentage), hobbies, and similar schedules), this is the app to get you started.

Zoosk caters to a wide diversity of people, but it is far from a decent dating site. If you feel like you’re running out of options, this is the most sensible option for introverts who need to explore the world of online dating.

The concept behind Zoosk is that it starts to perceive you more and more over time to help you introduce yourself to the user you can spend the night with or the rest of your life, because the site’s unique set of rules recognizes your user tastes through the moves you make. Array: The only challenge is that there don’t seem to be many humans actually employing the website. Once you log in, realize that while Zoosk would have possibly been a wonderful place to meet other people in the past, it’s now a shadow of its former self.  

Features like SuperSend, which sends a message to a bunch of users at once, can technically start a conversation, but they’re necessarily the built-in edit of a Zoosk spam message. We can’t believe that the introvert lacks an organization of other people to answer to. When they don’t even know if they need to communicate with them in the first place. Zoosk’s features, such as adding messages, are the explanation for its exorbitant subscription fees. For a site that doesn’t seem current, we find it hard to recommend it. he.

Read our full Zoosk review.

We know that dating can seem like a challenge, especially for introverted lovers. That’s why we’ve spent a lot of time testing the best dating sites and apps for introverts, particularly looking for those that will help you find someone who understands you.

This is how we discovered the one from:

Tailored to Your Unique Personality: We didn’t just create one singles profile – we created several, each with different details, to see how the app’s set of rules would suit various personalities and preferences. We try to make sure that those apps can connect you with someone who really understands your introverted side.

Usability, Privacy Features, Smart Fortune Rate, and Overall Vibe: We looked for sites that were easy to use and featured strong privacy features (no one needs to feel defeated or exposed). We also made sure the sites had smart tracking. history of helping others find meaningful connections.

User Reviews: We have read countless user reviews to verify that the sites are valid and working. We wanted our recommendations to be really useful.

Features that make it simple to start (and maintain) conversations: We look for sites with features that make starting and maintaining conversations natural and enjoyable.

Hands-on tests: We tested many of the sites on our list to experience firsthand how they work and how they would appeal to introverted daters.

Yeah! Online dating is wonderful for introverts because it allows them to take their time getting to know each other and talking on their own terms. Whether you’re a sociable, thoughtful, anxious, or restrained (inhibited) introvert, online dating gives you the opportunity to be yourself without overthinking your interactions. Instead of worrying about chatting or finding the courage to meet up in person, you can curl up on the couch and explore potential matches at your own pace.

Bumble is the most productive app for shy men because of its outstanding female-focused (and non-binary) messaging system. But with recent discussions about relaunching and potentially converting its ability to allow either party to initiate conversations, this feature would possibly disappear in the future.

Dating is complicated regardless of your personality type, but introverts may find it more complicated due to their tendency to prefer solitude, their need for deep relationships, and their discomfort with small communication and socializing in large groups. By employing a dating app like Hinge or happn, introverts can feel more integrated into their interactions and interact with others in a more comfortable and manageable way.

Bethany Allard is a Los Angeles-based Mashable business reporter who covers good looks, technology, dating, sex and relationships, and hearing aids. This means that she does a lot of hair, browses many dating apps, and spins a lot. of other headphones. In addition to testing and gathering the most productive products, he also covers deals for Mashable, paying obsessive attention to Apple’s deals and pricing. This wisdom comes in handy when covering grocery shopping parties like Prime Day and Black Friday. which he has been doing for 3 years at Mashable.

She graduated from New York University with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and English literature. You can follow her on X @betallard and contact her via email at [email protected].   In her free time, locate her by betting her Switch, spending time with her cat Mila, or cooking anything new in her kitchen.

Tabitha Britt is a freelance writer, copywriter, search engine optimization, and content strategist. In addition to writing for Mashable, Tabitha is also the founding editor of DO YOU ENDO, a virtual magazine written through other people with endometriosis, for other people with endometriosis. She holds a master’s degree in Creative Publishing and Critical Journalism from the New School of Social Research and is a graduate of the Sextech School. You can locate more of his paintings in online publications, adding National Geographic, Insider, Kinkly, and others.

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