Coughlan’s polite reaction to trolls is indicative of how many still feel compelled to remain “kind” even in the face of totally unacceptable behavior.
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Yes, Coughlan is an actress and her symbol appears on our screens from time to time, but that doesn’t make her framing public property.
Last Sunday, Bridgerton star, iconic “little lesbian” and flexible Derry Girls legend Nicola Coughlan posted on Instagram, asking other people to avoid sending her unsolicited reviews about her body.
She wrote: “Hello! So, just one thing: if you have an opinion about my framework, please don’t share it with me. Most other people are great and don’t try to be offensive, but I’m just a human being being in genuine life and it’s hard to bear the weight of thousands of comments about his appearance that are sent directly to him every day.
“If you have an opinion about me, okay, I perceive that I am on TV and other people will have things to think about and say, but I beg you not to send it to me directly. “
One thing that struck me about Coughlan’s message is how polite he sounds. His repeated use of the word “please” and the way it provides the advantage of casting as much doubt as possible on the senders of those spam comments – “not meant to be offensive” – reads like a request of sorts, which a howl of fury which, in my opinion, is totally justified in this situation.
Even when they denounce unacceptable habits and set really fundamental boundaries, as Coughlan does here, women feel compelled to be “kind. “a smart swing.
I recognize this in myself and in the women around me as well: we apologize to other people who have bad manners with us, keep saying an undeniable “no,” and blurt out several “sorry” when we ask for fundamental attention and courtesy from us. other. This is not because we are “pushers” and it is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s the product of having learned from a young user that being polite and modest and making others feel comfortable is the right code. of habit for girls.
While children are rewarded for being safe, outspoken, and assertive, women who exhibit the same behaviors are “bossy” or “little ladies. “Of course, this socialization follows women into adulthood, how can it be?And for women who are more marginalized (because of their skin color, sexuality, or weight, for example), there is even more tension to maintain good manners and not confront provocation.
It’s irritating that Coughlan had to write this Instagram post in the first place. It’s never okay to make unsolicited comments about someone else’s frame, even if they’re noticed and even if you think you’re “nice. “Yes, Coughlan is an actress and her symbol is on our screens from time to time, but that doesn’t make her frame public property.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where the culture of poisonous food and grosophobia still reign. For celebrities like Coughlan, who dare to do their homework while having bodies that have no compatibility with Hollywood’s ultra-thin norm, they frame shame, trolling, and outright abuse is a daily reality.
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Last weekend, Yellowjackets star Melanie Lynskey tweeted that she was getting embarrassing messages from other people who said they cared about her health. Imagine watching Showtime’s fabulously dark and addictive Hit Yellowjackets and its conclusion: “I have to let one of the actors know that I do. “I don’t like its structure and I think it will be different. “
It’s unfortunate that successful and high-reputational actors like Coughlan and Lynskey fall victim to this unwanted behavior, and any of the women deserve respect for talking about it.
Coughlan’s incredibly courteous and measured technique for what can only be a deeply distressing scenario, where she is forced to face a daily onslaught of critical and intrusive commentary with the sole explanation of having a different framework than the classic “norm” for actors, is perhaps indicative of the number of women who still feel compelled to remain “kind” even in the face of totally unacceptable behavior.
Her well-behaved message is far more than the other people who harass her with their uninvited criticism deserve.
Yes, Coughlan is an actress and her symbol appears on our screens from time to time, but that doesn’t make her framing public property.
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